Steve Trout is aware that society would prefer that he not wear those seductive Foster Grants, particularly in mixed company, but he doesn’t much give a damn about that …
Steve Trout walks loins-first into the room. “Did you know the Yangtze is shaped like an abundant dong?” He says to, not asks of his fellow cocktail-hour guests. Divorcees undulate toward him as though they are the frayed tendrils of a dock rope as it sinks into the vinegary murk.
The status is no longer quo.
(This piece originally appeared at FanGraphs. It has since been revised and made even worse, probably.)